ARC provided courtesy of the publisher in exchange for an honest review.The pills keep away the memories and feelings of what happened last night, along with many other nights in my past. And not remembering them is important. Pain equals unwanted emotions, meltdowns, embarrassment.
There is no easing into Lila and Ethan’s story; you are thrust directly in the deep end, gasping for air as you struggle to breathe right along with them. I have a list of characters I’ve read over the years who tug at your heart, so broken down by life, every being of your soul aching for them. Lila is almost at the top, only surpassed by one. I will admit that from the beginning I didn’t know where this was going…..It’s amazing how one moment in life can be beautiful, and then you return home-to reality-and remember that beauty isn’t everything and that the ugly painful part will always exist in the form of unpaid bills, bad choices, and tiny white pills.
This is the story of Lila and Ethan, the best friends of Ella and Micha from the previous two books. You don’t really NEED to read those first, though you should because they are THAT good! Jessica Sorensen has a way of writing that literally grabs you from the first sentence of the first page. She grabs you by the heartstrings and you cannot breathe until the last page is over. God forbid there be a sequel and you are left with a cliffhanger. Talk about major book hangover!!I think I may have just fallen in love with him. No one has ever said something so nice to me or put that kind of confidence in my character. In fact, I’ve been told the opposite for as long as I can remember.
Honestly, I have never hated someone’s parents in a book as much as I hate Lila’s. To even call them her parents is doing a major disservice to the word, for they are anything but! These are vile, disgusting people who should have never had kids to begin with, They care only about themselves and keeping up with appearances, though in reality their lives are as far from perfect as you can get. They constantly cut Lila down until she is threadbare, and even when she is lying on the ground they metaphorically kick her some more. Lila has absolutely NO self confidence and uses sex in an attempt to feel something, anything. Because what I’m feeling right now, this terrifying, cliff falling, heart dropping, thoughts racing, plunging into unknown was far from anything I ever felt for London.
Enter Ethan. Ethan has his own broken past, for different reasons than Lila. He carries around a lot of guilt and burden on his shoulders and cannot escape his past. He despises large crowds, preferring the solitude and quiet to people. Despite all this, he is the only person Lila can turn to. The attraction between these two, despite how much they try to ignore it, jumps off the page. Like moths to a flame, try as they might, they can only fight their desire for so long. Needless to say when they finally give in, it is pure magic. Perfect doesn’t exist. Realness does. Realness is when I need. And Ethan is as real as anyone I’ve ever met.
I have never rooted for a couple quite like I did for them. The road isn’t easy. Many bridges need to be crossed. There were definitely many struggles and life affirming changes to be made. A lot of self reflection and hard truths. This was by far a 5 star read for me. I cannot wait to see what Jessica comes out with next!Fiercely. Forcefully. With heat, desire, and hunger suffocating both of us as we drown in each other’s feelings. Our bodies align and press together as I kiss her with all the pent-up energy I’ve been collecting since the first day we met. I’ve lost all control over my actions. Rules don’t exist. The past and the future dissolve and only this moment exists.